Tradition or Obligation
Reflections of Christmas 2003
Step outside the snow falling bubble
To see what is really there.
Take away the story that few believe in
And see what is really there.
Turn off the idiot-box-noise-in-your-face
See what is really there.
Participate in none of the celebration
See, what is really there?
Step out, take away, turn off, don’t participate, look from afar, like a scientist, study the event, ask into the phenomenon, and wonder for the first time: what is this?
As my son is two and a half and old enough to begin to understand what we do at Christmastime, I question what I am passing down to him. I feel obliged in my tradition and look for what this mean for him.
Christmas is a religious holiday that begins with children “learning” – being told, or being told to read about- the story of God’s son Christ being born. This is part of a tradition and a belief that is handed down. Children do not get a say in the situation. This is part of their education.
Funny thing is in all the massive preparation for this birthday celebration, you don’t see or hear this guy’s name very often at all. It’s not like when we are celebrating Gershwin’s 100th birthday, or Sinatra’s, where we see their names everywhere reminding us what we are celebrating. No this guy Christ is not in the store windows or in the newspapers or in the Kohl’s advertising supplement. They only speak about him in churches. But in church you can’t speak back, it’s a lecture, so its hard to find out more. But most people I see celebrating Christmas don’t go to church anyway.
The preparation for the event is of a magnitude that is hard to believe. And it all has to do with SHOPPING! Huge stores begin planning for next Christmas as soon as this Christmas is over. They plan all year for their fourth-quarter strategy. Most stores depend so heavily on Christmas sales that if they have a bad season of sales they suffer very much.
Meanwhile, most people don’t think of Christmas all year. They let it go when it is over for at least six to nine months except for the occasional eureka moment where that perfect gift jumps out at you in April for your loved one. Although I should mention that I’ve seen banks offer special accounts just to be ready for Christmas. But it seems few take advantage of this smart and generous bank offer because most of
So after Labor day, the marker that allows us a final big summer party and reminds us that the fall is imminent, the spirit of Christmas begins to slowly creep into conversations. “What are you doing for Christmas?” is a common refrain that begins the thoughts and plans are made and arrangements secured.
But the real activity that moves the whole country begins while we celebrate the pilgrims and the Indians friendship at Thanksgiving. The only problem is that you must have a newspaper to see the first Christmas-at-Thanksgiving-sales, or own a TV to feel the stirrings of the first Christmas jingle complete with snow-white horses coming down your street. No problem, everyone, well almost everyone, has a TV and a newspaper. Those who can’t afford it don’t count anyway cause they can’t get in the celebration without money to buy Christmas presents and paraphernalia.
At this point something bizarre happens. Like an ancient hormone surging through the body people get in a trance to go shopping. Often they wake at
For the next five weeks it is almost impossible, no it is impossible to avoid the Christmas party. Everyone puts Christmas lights up all over their houses and building and offices, and parks, and streets, and everywhere using lots of energy for very little brightness. But it is not for practical or utilitarian purposes that these lights are lit. It’s for fun! Radio’s tease us into the Christmas spirit with their first Christmas song, from the biggest pop star of the year, nowadays from a TV talent show. Stores are green and red and sales all over. Newspapers bask in the biggest advertisements of the year. TV is bursting with Christmas programming- “Friends” celebrate Christmas, “Specials” make the season special, and the “news” is a-buzz with the market results of the day. Movie theaters are chock-full of Christmas goodies. And everywhere you turn someone is there to offer you advice on how to make Christmas better. Better shopping, better Christmas dinners, better Christmas entertaining, better relationships during the holidays, and better ways not to get upset, anxious, angry-at-the-relatives, overwhelmed and undernourished. All the tips you’d ever need, “A better Christmas?” just sit and read. But who reads anymore?
Well finally, after all the planning, shopping and Christmas office parties, the big birthday comes. It’s so big in fact that most people celebrate the eve and the day. I look for Christ again, since I did not see or hear of him through the din of preparation. But mostly the guy is absent. A few still go to church and hear from the expert lecture. And fewer still raise his name at home. Certainly not during presents- no “Christ sent you this” or “in the name of Christ I give this to you” or even “for Christ’s sake this is from me”. No presents for the guy either. But once in a while, for those who still remember to offer thanks for the giving, his name is uttered at the table before the feast-of-abundance.
Now some say that Christmas is not about celebrating Christ’s birthday at all, in spite of the name and the origin. They say it is about tradition. It is simply a time to give to loved ones. To buy tons of presents, wrap them in tons of paper and boxes, cut down millions of Christmas trees, and enjoy telling children the fantasy of Santa Claus-an old man from the north pole who rides a sleigh in the sky, pulled by reindeer, and delivers presents to all the children of the world-or is it the ones who believe in Christ? But first he checks who’s naughty or nice; if you’ve been naughty you’re out of luck. Meanwhile millions of children are starving and can’t get in the game at all.
The tradition, they say, is not about materialism, it is about family and the “spirit” of Christmas. You see this time of year is the time people are nice to each other. Or is it that everyone wants Santa Claus to give them their presents and so they try to get on the “nice” list?
In any case, what is strange about this tradition of families is that most families celebrate in tension of some kind. In fact this Christmas many people chose not to even celebrate with their families. So what the tradition is now is up for grabs as far as I can see.
The families that are together eat massive dinners, drink, watch football, drink some more for some, watch more football, or go to the movies to escape the football, drink some more perhaps, play games, read, maybe talk. In short, I looked for what is different or special in this tradition of family gathering from others but only found the trimmings to let me know its Christmas. Oh, and the mistletoe, doesn’t anyone hang mistletoe anymore? Now that was different.
And then I saw something very troubling. Some people wanted out of the game! But boy did the others try to stop them. They got so mad, or sad, they couldn’t even talk about it, but kept peer-pressure on to help them not veer too far. Some people lost the “spirit” of Christmas altogether as people tried to change traditions.
But these people opting out of Christmas went too far in their convictions and sensitivities. They were just over-sensitive and over-reacting to the harmless fun. They felt that Christmas became an empty holiday focused on fourth-quarter-profits, consumerism of extravagance, meaningless gift giving devoid of interpersonal richness. They became disgusted at the power of the media and mega-corporations to persuade, brain-wash, and control people’s lives through select news stories and featured articles, and intense pressure to buy that perfect gift that no one should do without.
But these dissenters of Christmas had it all wrong and traditional celebrators shunned their ideas and said they were out-of-step, or some other non-validating response.
The only thing I can say really, what I saw was really there, is the fact that this tradition runs so deep that it will definitely continue through my lifetime and my son’s as well.
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